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All the Lives I Want: Essays About My Best Friends Who Happen to Be Famous Strangers, by Alana Massey
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"Alana Massey's prose is to brutal honesty what a mandolin is to a butter knife: she's sharper; she slices thinner; she shows the cross-section of a truth so deftly--so powerfully and cannily--it's hard to look away, and hard not to feel that something has shifted in you for having read her."--Leslie Jamison, New York Times bestselling author of The Empathy Exams
From columnist and critic Alana Massey, a collection of essays examining the intersection of the personal with pop culture through the lives of pivotal female figures--from Sylvia Plath to Britney Spears--in the spirit of Chuck Klosterman, with the heart of a true fan.
Mixing Didion's affected cool with moments of giddy celebrity worship, Massey examines the lives of the women who reflect our greatest aspirations and darkest fears back onto us. These essays are personal without being confessional and clever in a way that invites readers into the joke. A cultural critique and a finely wrought fan letter, interwoven with stories that are achingly personal, ALL THE LIVES I WANT is also an exploration of mental illness, the sex industry, and the dangers of loving too hard. But it is, above all, a paean to the celebrities who have shaped a generation of women--from Scarlett Johansson to Amber Rose, Lil' Kim, Anjelica Huston, Lana Del Rey, Anna Nicole Smith and many more. These reflections aim to reimagine these women's legacies, and in the process, teach us new ways of forgiving ourselves.
- Sales Rank: #17349 in Books
- Published on: 2017-02-07
- Released on: 2017-02-07
- Original language: English
- Dimensions: 8.63" h x 1.00" w x 5.75" l, .0 pounds
- Binding: Hardcover
- 256 pages
Review
"ALL THE LIVES I WANT is a brilliant collection on the things women think but do not say. The essays delight and infuriate in equal measure, and Massey's sharp and poignant writing solidify her place as one of the best cultural critics of her generation."
―Jessica Valenti, New York Times bestselling author of Sex Object: A Memoir
"Alana Massey's writing often makes me uncomfortable, and sometimes makes me feel like resisting--but it also makes me laugh, and always makes me think, and always--certainly--makes me feel. Her prose is to brutal honesty what a mandolin is to a butter knife: she's sharper; she slices thinner; she shows the cross-section of a truth so deftly--so powerfully and cannily--it's hard to look away, and hard not to feel that something has shifted in you for having read her."―Leslie Jamison, New York Times bestselling author of The Empathy Exams
"Brilliant and tender where you want it to be, incisive and damning where you need it to be, ALL THE LIVES I WANT gives us the chance to reconsider how we've absorbed the public lives of women so that we may ask new questions about how we live our own."―Mychal Denzel Smith, New York Times bestselling author of Invisible Man, Got the Whole World Watching
"With brutal honesty, sly wit, and natural suspicion toward our most commonly held cultural assumptions, Alana Massey renders each and every subject she lands on a million times more interesting. From Sylvia Plath to Princess Diana, Fiona Apple to Amber Rose, Massey examines the most complicated and confusing female celebrities to shape the modern psyche, gracefully reflecting our shared sympathies, blind spots, and vulnerabilities along the way."―Heather Havrilesky, author of How to Be a Person in the World
"Alana Massey's book is a diamond, in both the glitter of its prose and its capacity to cut through inferior things. This is a manual for survival disguised as culture writing. A stunning and necessary book."―Molly Crabapple, author of Drawing Blood
"Through the prism of female icons and celebrities, both deified and demonized ALL THE LIVES I WANT offers a poignant and often hilarious dissection of how pop culture shapes and consumes the women it elevates. Embedded in personal anecdote, Massey draws vital attention to, and urges celebration of, (the overlooked) sites of resistance therein. Massey's work, with prose both poignant and acerbic, is an invocation towards empathy-a call to women to be generous with ourselves and each other. We do ourselves a great favor to listen to her."―Natasha Lennard, columnist and contributor at The New York Times, The Nation, The Intercept, and Fusion
About the Author
Signed with Grand Central Publishing since June of 2015, Alana Massey is a writer whose work covers culture, labor, identity, and mortality. The popularity and substance of her writing has earned her the attention of publications like The Awl, The Columbia Journalism Review, and Forbes, who have all published profiles of the author. Massey counts authors like Leslie Jamison, Molly Crabapple, Heather Havrilesky, and Rebecca Traister as admirers of her writing, in addition to her sizeable Twitter following that has tripled in size each of the last two years. Massey's essays, criticism, reviews, and reporting appear regularly in publications like The Guardian, New York Magazine, Elle, The Atlantic, Hazlitt, Buzzfeed, and more.
Most helpful customer reviews
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful.
A Truly Unique and Sparkling Perspective on Women and Celebrity
By Suzan Eraslan
There are tens of thousands of essays on women and celebrity in the world, and yet Alana Massey manages to cut a path perpendicular to this well worn road. Bypassing the traditional sociological analysis of the influence these women and girls have on our culture, Massey examines how our culture influences them. In “There Can Only Be One,” she litigates the media-created feud between Nicki Minaj and Lil’ Kim as the product of cultural misogynoir that will only “allow” one tough and sexy Black woman to rule hip hop at a time. Essays on Anna Nicole Smith and the “crazy ex-girlfriend” label applied to women as seemingly dissimilar as Lisa “Left-Eye” Lopes and Princess Di critique our treatment of women who break the traditional boundaries of class and gender rules, often to be met with derision even when they suffer tragedy.
But All the Lives I Want is not simply cultural criticism; Massey digs several miles below the surface, past intellect and emotion into the spiritual meaning of our one-sided relationships with these famous figures. Her essays don't attempt to humanize these women (though that does happen as a byproduct of her singular empathy) but rather to make a compelling case that each of them fulfills the timeless necessity as the individual incarnations of the many faces of femininity. My favorite, “The Queen of Hearts: An Alternative Account of the Life and Crimes of Courtney Love”, presents the rocker and actor (more famous for being a widow than an artist in her own right) not as a parasitic nagging wife (and accused murderer by her husband’s fans), but as an aspirational icon of chthonic power, a destroyer figure, and necessary model of “female brutality.” Her elevation of the Lisbon sisters in The Virgin Suicides alongside the many clusters of sisters scattered across Greek mythology, interwoven with the genuinely mystical love she shares with her own sister (born on the same day under the sign of Gemini), is almost unbearably beautiful. The essay is not just a coruscating love song to sisterhood, but punctuated throughout with a needle sharp critique of the failure of imagination of the male gaze that fetishizes and sexualizes sisterly love while missing the deep spirituality of the connection.
Massey’s time at Yale Divinity School may seem incongruous with writing about something so “trivial” as celebrity, but she effortlessly clarifies the metaphysical quality of feminine fame; by comparison, all others writing on the topic see only as if through a glass, darkly.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
though all of them stand on their own merits and fans of the women covered will likely be pleased with Massey's careful
By Christine Nichols
All The Lives I Want is a refreshing collection of pop culture criticism that is in turns both heartbreaking and hilarious. While most critics attempt to distance themselves from their own personal connection to the famous subjects at hand, Massey recognizes not just the futility in creating that kind of separation but also the strength of stating her own stake in these celebrity stories which are still, at their core, about human beings who have been wronged or misrepresented as ordinary people have as well. The standout essays are about Sylvia Plath, Lil Kim, and Britney Spears, though all of them stand on their own merits and fans of the women covered will likely be pleased with Massey's careful, compassionate conclusions.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Courtney Love, Sylvia Plath among many others
By Lauren Matthews
All the Lives I Want is a collection of essays covering women celebrities, the public perception of them and a lens into how that public perception is skewed due to their gender. Something that I found very refreshing is the diversity of the women chosen for the essays, Winona Ryder, Lil Kim, Courtney Love, Sylvia Plath among many others. Despite their very different backgrounds and times in which they were famous the author is able to show parallels in how the public was conditioned to see them. And despite their roles as celebrities, the author also shows similarities that everyday women can relate to in how they are expected to behave. It is an intelligent book, while still being an easy read and I think a very good book for women of all ages to read, as well as anyone else interested in the different expectations on women's behavior and the consequences society places on them when they do not meet those expectations.
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